you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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