I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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