I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize