Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
