I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
