I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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