I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize