I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
