I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
