Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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