eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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