I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
