then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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