Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
