I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we made out on top of his cat.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
