did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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