Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
