whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
