If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize