i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
