Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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