I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
