I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
