I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I have post one night stand depression
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
