i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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