Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
