i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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