fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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