One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
