yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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