she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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