Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
