I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize