M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
