There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
