how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
