i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My vagina is officially offended.
i think i just lost a toe
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
