The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i think i just lost a toe
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
