And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize