I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
