You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize