Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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