Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize