Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
