What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
