i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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