that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
