Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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