Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
