Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
