I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
