Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
