STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
