She's JV to your varsity
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
