He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
