he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
