you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
