I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
