I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
