oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
