Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize