Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
worst night to have a conscience
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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