A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
