My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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