Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Randomize
