you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
