where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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