We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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