Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
