Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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