The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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