remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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