Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I see more hoeing in ur future
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