She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
