we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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