Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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