Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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