Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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