JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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