She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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